(Bitter) Sweet November

My mix for November is titled Sweet November, based off of an old mix I made by the same name back in 2006. The CD itself was finished long before this November. Writing about it though, has been a different story.

Sweet November came at a very pivotal, transitional period in my life that may well have shaped who I am today. It all started earlier that summer when a life-long best friend of mine invited me to a family party, where I met an angel. Or so she seemed. Sunshine, as we will call her, was just 18, performing some pop ballad on the piano with a certain zest in her voice that caught me completely off guard. Not nearly to the extent however, of her long, curly red hair--my biggest weakness. Somewhere between the fourth and fifth rotation of Carrie Underwood's Some Hearts album I mustered up the courage to get her number. From there I spent 6 months of mix tapes chasing after this girl, and to no avail. They began in July with the aptly named Sunshine. In August it was Sunshine 2. Didn't see that creative genius coming, did ya? Following them was September On the Train, October In the 80's (see previous post), Sweet November, and Home for the Holidays. I called it Sweet November not because of the movie, but because of a song I came across by a singer/songwriter that reminded me of her.

The inspiration behind the sound of the mix was our favorite hangout, Moon Monkey. It was a beautiful old victorian home that they converted into a warm, comfy coffee house, complete with a small stage up stairs for local musicians, as well as an outdoor patio space for music during the summer. The atmosphere inside was near-perfect, with the aroma of espresso, acoustic guitar and local art work adorning the walls. For a time there it was my favorite place in the world. As soon as I was off of work, I was there reading, listening to music, playing board games or just chatting with the owner. They were near Olivet Nazarene University, so there were always some christian artists played. Aside from that though, it was mostly Light.fm stuff: John Mayer, Norah Jones Jack Johnson, etc. So by default, I was listening to a lot of that stuff when I made Sweet November for her.

1. On the Radio - Regina Spektor

2006 was the year of Regina Spektor. I got everybody I knew listening to her, including "Sunshine." In no time, we were printing out tabulature to try to plunk out our own versions of the songs on piano once pretending on the dashboard of the car was no longer enough.

2. Futures - Jimmy Eat World

This is the one song on here that doesn't exactly fit the mood, but I couldn't exclude it. It's as relevant to me now as it was then. My best years at college were right around the bend when I first heard it, and having just graduated westward, I can only hope that history repeats itself.

3. Sweet November - Sarah Blasko

This is the song that reminded me of Sunshine, my summer muse, which is why it's only fitting that its the weakest song on the mix. She had me listening to some of the most bogus shit back then and thinking I actually liked it. I only kept it here because of the significance with the title, and the transitions work better with the surrounding tracks here than elsewhere. Still, you could argue it's better than a lot of the stuff I really did like back then (fall out boy).

4. Blackbird - Sarah McLachlan

This song seems to be popular lately. Caiti's bird mix was in fact a direct inspiration to having this placed. It had that exact autumn feel I was going for, so it only made sense to include it. Perhaps the one song of hers I can listen to without weeping about abandoned puppies and toys.

5. Night Falls - Steel Train

LOVE this song. One of the most underrated bands to never come out of the emo era. I am still the ONLY person I know who genuinely listened to this band back when Drive-Thru Records was my favorite label in existence. Their first EP, For You My Dear, is a teenage acoustic rock masterpiece. I used to hate that they were trying to be a classic rock band on a pop-punk label... that was until they tried to be U2. No wonder no one ever listens to them.

6. Nightingale - Norah Jones

Ah yes, we're starting to see a theme here. Where's the Saves the Day "Nightingale," you ask? That would have been too many night-birds in one mix. Norah's music is very seasonal to me--it always makes me appreciate the weather outside. I just have so many fond memories of driving around listening to her with my sister. Later on, those drives almost inevitably ended and began at Moon Monkey.

7. Stop This Train - John Mayer

That fall my sister and I were obsessed with this song. I still am, for the most part. I just think it's beautiful. I've always been a sucker for Johnny, and never afraid to admit it. He gets me.

8. A Brief Intermission - The Snake, The Cross, The Crown

:]

9. Hannah - Ray LaMontagne

Not much to say about this one. I loved how they always played "Trouble" at Moon Monkey, and I always left in a Ray LaMontagne mood, with an itching to drive out to the country side and hide out in a beard for a while. I was very churchy then, so I especially like the "banjo and a bible" line.

10. Ever So Sweet - The Early November

Oh yea, I went there. I hear you singing it.

11. Nature and the Wreck - Mates of State

I can't really explain this one other than it's my favorite part of the original mix tape. It just moves me. As much as I listened to them back then, I never feel like it was enough.

12. Lullaby - Regina Spektor

Again, just another beautiful song with some autumn visuals infused. I can still remember sitting upstairs in Moon Monkey, staring out the window, imagining how happy this song would make her. I never found out how she really felt about the mix or the songs, but I guess that doesn't matter. It was the thought that counts, and it still makes me smile.

(Bonus Song)

13. Family Business - Kanye West

Words can't describe my love for this song. The production is incredible. The man doesn't just make hip-hop music, he makes modern symphonies. Its the reason he's been nominated 3 times for best album of the year, and won best Rap album all 3 of those years. You want to talk about multitracking, I can't even imagine what his pro tools sessions look like. 808's meet choirs and strings. Genius.

I always listen to this song around Thanksgiving because of the warm feeling of family it brings. Especially this year, being 2000 miles away from home, I've been listening to a lot of Kanye. It reminds me of being back at school in the south loop, in a real city, with wind and shoulders and skyscrapers, not just oceans of people dispersed among the mountains and valleys.

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Yes, it was a very sweet November, but the reason I decided to reach backwards for this month's mix is not because of Sunshine. Like I said, I spent six months of mix tapes chasing after her, and to no avail. 125 songs carefully chosen and placed within compilations designed just for her, and all I got was an awkward kiss goodbye. I never realized just how vain and materialistic she was until I met someone truly deserving of all those hours of mixing and imagining. No, it's more like my past reached out to me. That was a sweet November because it's when I started seeing "Jewels."

We met at Six Flags Great America, and unlike Sunshine, she wasn't trying to impress anyone. She just danced to the beat of her own drums. Really good drums, like The Strokes and The Clash. For our first date, I took Jewels to a Chicago version of Moon Monkey: The Heartland Cafe. (Its no Pick Me Up, but what is?) For our second date we saw The Departed at the AMC River East, and for our third date we went back there to see Marie Antoinette. Well I guess the third time's a charm because that's when it stuck. I could understand a girl wanting to see Marie Antoinette in theaters, but I couldn't understand why she wanted me to see it with her so badly, especially after she had already seen it. That was until the wedding scene, accompanied by The Cure's Plainsong, transitioned into Ceremony by New Order, and my life changed forever. I'll never forget being so excited in the theater like that and being so unbelievably happy afterward. It was one of those moments you can't explain, when everything just feels... perfect.

Thats how it went for almost 4 years. Marie Antoinette became our soundtrack, and thanks to the trailer's constant rotation on our facebooks, Age of Consent became our song. This past summer, when I was focused on getting out, she was focused on settling in. Jewels got a job at Forever 21, where she hears a steady stream of new music every week. That's where she got a lot of the songs for her latest mix tapes. She gave me a going-away mix to listen to on the way out to California entitled New Charm. Its a very upbeat mix about finding happiness and new beginnings. It was hard to listen to though, because it was too happy, like making a promise you can't keep. So when I went back home for my buddy's wedding (the one who's cousins with Sunshine), she gave me a more honest mix.

Autumn Dream is just that: a dream. Whereas Sweet November is the November 2006 I like to remember, when life was cozy and comfortable, Autumn Dream is the November I can't forget. It encapsulates every feeling we went through together in those beginning stages, when love was young and... scary. When it's over, its always the best parts that hurt the worst. Which is why this mix is such a killer. Its sooo good, but its nearly impossible to listen to. Just as hard to write about. But seeing earlier posts of people having breakup mixes, I couldn't help myself. I just hope that someone can get a glimpse of the comfort I find in these mixes. That's the point of it all, isn't it? An escape, to another time and place. If you want to take it easy, you can put on some Sweet November and just chill out, enjoy the crackling of the fireplace or the steam off your cappuccino. If you want romantic, mysterious, dangerous nostalgia music thats not quite nostalgic yet, you can take an Autumn Dream. Just be careful, you may not want to wake up. She always did have much better taste than me.

Still without a job, I went into Forever 21 for an interview last Wednesday. While waiting my turn, Age of Consent came over the stereo at full blast. Followed by Robert Smith telling me boys don't cry.

Good one, God.